Totally irresolute

I'm not a great one for making New Year resolutions. I always find that in the razmatazz leading up to the New Year everyone gets a little carried away and decides on dieting, not drinking, not smoking, detoxing etc etc just that bit too much and sets themselves a whole load of aims and achivements to reach for - most of which are way out of our reach so that the failure to reach them means that we just feel worse about ourselves rather than better.

But then I feel lazy and a real let-down when all around me everyone else is declaring their resolve to do better, try harder, become the 'New You'. So I was quite relieved to read that a psychologist had declared much the same idea. That it doesn't really help and can be quite depressing to make those resolutions - specailly now in the dark days of midwinter with the snow covering the ground and making everything so bleak and miserable. (That set me wondering how my friends and readers on the other side of the world feel - does the New Year still inspire you to great resolves, to looking into changing or does the sunshine outside insist that you relax, enjoy, live for today?).

Besides, I've never felt that 'do more' actually equates with 'doing better'. I've never been the fastest writer in the Presents line - and that's fine by me. I take pride in writing the best books I bcan and from the lovely letters, cards and emails I've had over the last 12 months it seems that I'm doing that. If we're not careful, I feel that we end up being too busy telling ourselves what's not good enough and not enough time appreciating what we are - what we're actually achieiving. And that's a recipe for depression. So I’m not resolving anything. Except to keep up with the one resolution I made last year - and that was to make sure I got some exercise. So my almost every day 3 mile walk stays. Apart from that, I don’t really feel that I need a ‘New Me’. The ‘old’ one might need a bit of a shake up every now and then but I’ve managed OK so far. But I am looking forward to 2010 with a lot of anticipation and some excitement.

Those of you who've read my post over on Tote Bags 'N'Blogs will have some idea of what's ahead of me. If you haven't, then take a look at the Events page on my web site and you'll see.

And of course all through it, it is also a year to celebrate. I'm still marking the fact that it's 25 years since my very first ever book was published. A special silver anniversary for the day my dreams came true and I became a published author. And I’m looking forward to the publication of some new books that I have coming up – the very first of which will be published in the middle of this month (January 15th - though it's already available on the M&B site or Amazon). That’s when my next Modern Romance The Konstantos Marriage Demand will appear in the UK shops.

And over on the eHarlequin site, there's the launch of the special selection of Bloggers' Bundles which includes the We Write Romance Selects Presents ebook bundle chosen by the reviewrs and owners of that web site.

There’s another new title coming in July too and a rather special collection in April and I’m looking forward to those as well. More details later.

But sometimes it seems that when you work in publishing you’re always looking forward – always planning ahead. Right now, I’m busy with the plans for my next book, the deadline is already set for when I need to have this on my editor’s desk and I’m working towards that right now. The trouble is that I know that as soon as I get involved in the story and get my head down, then the time of writing it will just pass in a flash. It always does. I’ll look up and realise that it’s March or April and this ‘New Year’ is way behind me and already we’re partway through it. And if I’m not careful I’ll be too busy looking ahead to take the time and space to enjoy the present.

So that’s my resolve – not necessarily a ‘resolution’ but definitely a determination – for 2010. I’m going to take a couple of steps back and actually experience – and enjoy – everything that comes along in this new year that stretches ahead right now. I know from experience that if I don’t then I’ll get to this time in 2011 with a sort of ‘blink and you missed it’ feeling. Instead I want to actually live fully in this year, experiencing everything that happens in it so that I will remember it all as clearly as possible. After all, these past 24 years of being published seem to have passed in a flash already. I want to enjoy the 25th!