How NOT To Write A Romance - Part One

Okay - so here is the first section of the list of very basic mistakes that I see repeated again and again in so many of the manuscripts I read and critique.


1. Believe in the Formula
Or the rules or that story of the computer that is programmed to write all the romances, just changing the names and nationalities of the characters.

Do I need to say any more?

2. Never, ever read romances before you start
- you'd be amazed how many people say: I’ve never read one but ‘they’re all the same aren’t they?’
Or if you do read any romances, then make sure they were published 5, 10, 15 years ago – because they never change, do they?

Why do so few would-be HMB writers read the books that are currently being published to find out what the editors are actually buying?


3. Write down to your reader
When you’re writing, think ‘It’s ‘only’ a romance, nothing important. It's not 'literature'. And anyway, the readers just wolf them down
They are not at all critical, and they never remember one book from another.

Don’t forget that you are writing to entertain and for your readers to enjoy the book – just because something is easy to read doesn’t mean that it’s easy to write.

4. Make your Conflict just one long argument
So many would-be authors interpret the word 'conflict' as just constant bickering, with the characters arguing over nothing just to keep them at each other's throats until the very last chapter.

Don't have a conflict that is so unimportant it makes the H&h look stupid and immature for even letting it bother them. Conflict that just comes from the way he looks at her and the way she interprets it
Equally, don't make the conflict real trauma that is so OTT the character would be a basket case. Many writers seem to think that constant Trauma = Emotion


5. Your heroine - Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Little Red Riding Hood all rolled into one
Make your heroine a real person – not just the ‘romance’ heroine
Try to avoid writing the cliché romance heroine that non-romance readers think is the one that appears in every book –ie: -
Virgin heroines just waiting for HIM
Pathetic heroines – just waiting to be rescued
Unemployed heroines – just waiting to be kept in the manor and manner to which they’d like to become accustomed
Heroines who believe ill of their hero on no evidence whatsoever
Heroines who put up with every insult/abuse – and fall madly(madly being the word) in love
Heroines who put up with every insult/abuse – then get a brief apology and say ‘Oh, that’s all right then – because I love you.’


6. Prince Not At All Charming
Please get away from the idea that an Alpha hero = brute
Don’t have
Heroes who do nothing but belittle and put down
Abusive heroes – there is a very definite line between being a strong and dominant hero and actual physical brutality
The ‘experienced’ hero – for experienced read promiscuous, no discrimination, a total womaniser – and probably infected with something nasty.
Heroes not even their mothers could love
Heroes who believe ill of their heroine on no evidence whatsoever
Heroines who offer their heroine every insult/abuse – then give a brief apology and say ‘But you know I love you.’


7. Characters With No Character
Stereotypes – characters who ‘always’ appear in a romance and are ‘always like that.’
One dimensional
Have no past history before they appear on the page
Who let their author dictate to them - Characters should not be moved around like chess pieces to fit the plot the writer has decided on – the plot should flow from them and their personalities.
Who learn nothing
Who never develop, never change, never even seem loveable.


More tomorrow