So here's another of my 'ex-virgins'. Julie Cohen is one of the original group of four who came to the Durham conference in 2002 (you'll meet another of this special group at the party soon). Once again Julie is someone I 'met' on the eharlequin message boards. We chatted, I learned she was an American married to a Brit, teaching English - when the RNA Conference came around and I knew she was going, I started a newsletter to put her and three others in contact. We met in person at Durham and she's been in my life ever since. And I couldn't be happier about that.
Julie was one of the very earliest published 'virgins'. She submitted to Harlequin's Temptation line when that still existed and so was one of the launch authors when Temptation became Modern Extra (Sexy Sensation in Australia). She has also published Spirit Willing, Flesh Weak in the Little Black Dress line for Headline.
Julie's post is, she says, short, but she hopes sweet. As she has a very young (and adorable) son, is currently back teaching, and is also writing, she's stretched pretty thin but wanted to join in the party. Her current book - All Work and No Play is currently on sale alongside The Sicilian's Red-Hot Revenge.
So here's Julie Cohen
I thought I would write a poem to celebrate Kate's heroes. But I sort of ran into difficulties. For one thing,I couldn't find anything to rhyme with "Hugh in a towel" except for "poo on a do
wel", which doesn't really evoke the correct image.
Anyway, this is what I came up with:
A Short Poem To Celebrate Fifty Swoon-Worthy Heroes
by Julie Cohen, BA (hons), MPhil, KWHL (Kate Walker Hero Lover)
Spaniards, Italians, Sicilians,
Greeks, sheikhs, and tycoons worth billions:
The heroes Kate's written
Have all left me smitten;
Let's hope she'll keep writing gazillions!
Do you agree that Kate's heroes are worth writing poetry about? Post a couple of lines of poetry about your favourite Kate Walker hero--for example, here's mine about my all-time favourite, Ramon Dario, from The Spaniard's
Inconvenient Wife:
If I got a hold of Ramon
He'd never spend a night alone.
The best entry will get a signed copy of my June Modern Extra release, All Work and No Play...
(Hey, with a title like that, I had to get you to do some work, didn't I?)
wel", which doesn't really evoke the correct image.Anyway, this is what I came up with:
A Short Poem To Celebrate Fifty Swoon-Worthy Heroes
by Julie Cohen, BA (hons), MPhil, KWHL (Kate Walker Hero Lover)
Spaniards, Italians, Sicilians,
Greeks, sheikhs, and tycoons worth billions:
The heroes Kate's written
Have all left me smitten;
Let's hope she'll keep writing gazillions!
Do you agree that Kate's heroes are worth writing poetry about? Post a couple of lines of poetry about your favourite Kate Walker hero--for example, here's mine about my all-time favourite, Ramon Dario, from The Spaniard's
Inconvenient Wife:If I got a hold of Ramon
He'd never spend a night alone.
The best entry will get a signed copy of my June Modern Extra release, All Work and No Play...
(Hey, with a title like that, I had to get you to do some work, didn't I?)
And here's a photo of Julie at the weekend in Lincoln - with a friend!
26 comments:
JAKE AND MERCEDES
Take a smouldering hero called Jake
And Mercedes who made his heart ache.
He nicked her silk thong,
Which was seriously wrong.
But his harshness was all for her sake.
They finally fell into his bed,
When her mother’s voice rang in her head.
“I’m a virgin,” thought she,
And Jake doesn’t love me!
So I’ll wait until after I’m wed.
Being Alpha, Jake got his own way,
He blackmailed her into a stay,
In his flat – they both fell
In love. (Just as well
She was having his baby.) Hooray!
My goodness. Lord Alfred, I'm in awe!
That's really thrown down the gauntlet...
I can't possibly compete with Alf there, but am v inspired by the subject matter.
ALPHA ROMEOS
Vito is so sweet-o,
Domenico's got lovely hands.
Even Malik's car is phallic
And we could go to foreign lands.
Joaquin's really crackin',
I love Vincenzo's sexy scowl,
Guido Corsentini's dreamy--
I'd like to see him in a towel.
But Jake's the one I really want
As my partner in romance,
For him, I'd forget everything...
(Except, perhaps, my pants.)
Yeah. So India and Lord Alfred (Tennyson??) you totally AREN'T supposed to write brilliant poetry that makes my paltry efforts look even more pitiful.
Goes off to sulk with her rhyming dictionary...
Ahh... Guido
I devoured your book like a bag of Cheetos.
The things you do to Amber's libido.
Amber's defenses have been torpedoed.
Saving your marriage is your credo.
Who wouldn't love to see you in a Speedo.
I am sorry but,I am not much of a poet or a writer but here goes.
I would run off to the Caymans
To become the mistress of Damon.
I would take Malik
Whether or not he was a Sheikh.
Oh I'm awful at poetry!
For Jake,
I'd go swimming in a lake
Never mind I don't swim,
just so I could spend time with him
There's my pitiful attempt lol
OMG - you guys are ridiculously clever (and very funny as well). I have no intention of lowering the tone with my rubbish poetry but just wanted to say thanks for making me laugh!!!!
ps - Julie, haven't you read the new mother rule book? I believe chapter three requires you to look tired, frazzeled and frumpy and I'm afraid you fail miserably!!!!
These are fantastic. My God, Crystal, your rhymes are inspired. Guido, Cheeto, libido, Speedo. You are a genius.
Virginia, short and sweet and so very, very true.
Likewise Maureen. ;-)
Lis, I'm picturing you setting up a fake drowning to get rescued by Jake...hmm, sort of like in The Sicilians Red-Hot Revenge, only of course Emily isn't faking, and of course Jake isn't there.
So not like it at all, really.
Amanda, if you saw me right now you would be reassured that I am following those rules to the letter. Inventory of my appearance right now:
wrinkled top with baby drool encrusting shoulder--CHECK
baggy down-at-heel jeans sporting baby rice and banana--CHECK
no eye makeup as am suffering from pollen count--CHECK
no jewellery as baby eats it--CHECK
bags under eyes from habitually getting up for the day at 5 am--CHECK
nails that have seen neither varnish nor file for many a long month--CHECK
hair scraped behind ears so baby will not tug at it--CHECK
Here's my contribution:
Kate’s written 50 heroes to tempt a saint.
Strong, sexy men that make us swoon & faint
You ask us to choose just one from all these
Who makes us get hot & weak in the knees.
I’ve pondered & thought & still can’t decide.
Which of these heroes should be by my side?
Each one has a quality that touches my heart,
Thoughts of them are how my fantasies start.
Images are now running wild in my head.
If given the choice, who’d be sharing my bed?
Why, you ask, do I feel I must stall?
Because it’s not fair! I want them all!!
Julie, you fill me with relief!
Julie, what have you started? I love it! Such talent in our midst. I have the widest smile on my face after reading these poems - thanks everyone. I'm seriously poetry-challenged and so impressed.
Kate must be so thrilled to see some of her heroes immortalised in this way!
Annie
There was a young lady called Kate
Who wrote books and at quite a rate
They turned out quite nifty
So when she reached fifty
She thought that she would celebrate
A party she decided to hold
And with all her friends to be bold
She said she'd be host
And she asked them to post
On her blog on the days they were told
Ms Cohen arrived in great haste
Of poems she asked for a taste
The responses were fine
They rhymed to a line
And her question did not go to waste
Ms India swooned over hunks
Alpha Romeos – with or without their trunks
She talked of Jake and of Malik
With symbols so phallic
It made us all think she was drunk
But the best one – the first of the horde
The one who made sure we weren’t bored
Was the star of the show
Whose name we don’t know
Except that ‘he’s’ Alfred – a Lord.
Now the emails are buzzing around
But Lord Alfred, well he’s gone to ground.
He’s not Julie, the BM or Kate
Amanda, Annie or Anne - At this rate
Will our Laureate ever be found?
I have deadlinitis so I'm not going to post a rhyme, but I've been impressed by the poetry so far!
I thought Lord Alfred might be the BM in disguise. But then again, Kate knows several other poets. (I will never look at blood donors in the same way again, after Lincoln *g* - or cows on top of mountains, for that matter...)
It's 'Lord Alfred' here... blushing. Yes, I have never forgotten Jake. How I wish he'd been mine.
Would it be OK if I unmasked myself at the RNA conference or should I 'fess up sooner?
PS Have you ever seen my 'Maud'?
Is it Lord Alfred's ghost, kindly visiting us after our recent visit to his statue near Lincoln cathedral?
Um... no... but here's a clue:
On either side the river lie Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky; And thro' the field the road runs by
To many-towered Camelot;
BTW Many congratulations Kate. Your 12pt guide was really helpful to me ...
LA :)
Ah so really you're the Lady of Shallott - either that or you're an onion!
PS I admit that in my pome I used poetic licence by calling myself a 'young lady'
Kate - yeah, that's me, an onion.
I'm way too embarrassed to say who I am now but the shallott clue is bound unmask me sooner or later.
Slinks off (I am supposed to be writing a book too but Julie's poem invitation was just too much fun).
Shallott
=> Onion
=> Shrek (Donkey calls him "Onion Boy" because he's many-layered)
=> Princess Fiona (as in a certain M&B author who has tempted me to get certain gadgets)???
Looks at clock, remembers school run in 30 minutes, not done enough work today, no chocolate in house... Going, going, gone!
There is an HP author
named Kate Walker
50 books she’s written
with a delectable alpha in each
“First Man” has Adam
There’s Nathan & Ronan
Aidan & Morgan
Keir & Amir
Ramon & Damon
Leigh & Liam
And others in between
Too many to choose just one!
It seems a bit unfair to pick a Poet Laureate to win this competition, but it has to be. Lord Alfred, you're the winner!
Close seconds go to India and Crystal. Kate, alas, is disqualified.
Thank you so much, I've enjoyed these immensely!
Thanks Julie! Lord Alf has asked me if you could bring the book to the Little Black Dress party as i can collect it and pass it onto hin when I see him.
Thanks for all the great poems and a lot of fun.
I posted a pic for Kate on my blog.
P x
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